Another occasion thinking about my grandparents.
Each time I was asked about my overseas education and how this was considered "rare" life experiences to Chinese in prior two generations to mine, I could not help but bringing my "proud" family history.
Both my grandparents and parents spent a couple of years in the 1940s and 1980s respectively for graduate school in the U.S.. I was born knowing that I shall inherit this family tradition, coming to the U.S. and going back to China and work on the ground there for a few years...
The future is unknown, this is almost another occasion where you almost are sure about your destiny. It is written in your bloom and something you were born with.
At the same time, I could the sorry, self-pity and frustration I feel every single day not being able to share with my grandparents neither of whom lived to the day knowing that I would follow this trace and the fascinating experiences that followed.Sometimes I could just sit down and for a moment meditating to myself in awe just the urgent desire to tell them how much I enjoyed this education that I am receiving and how much I wish to thank them for everything they gave me, love, inspiration and motivation.
Will they hear me? Will they? Please hear me...and tell me back how they have enjoyed their years in the 1940s in a remote town in Minnesota, after traveling by ship for 30-day from their home and family...how did they survive and cherish those days and time? How would they think back of their times in the harsh years that followed them in the 1950s-1980s back home?
Would they wake up at one of those shocking nights longing and wondering what if they could rewrite history and turn back time, would they do something drastically different? Or how would they feel when all the dust were settled and seeing their second and third generation quickly grew up happy and healthy, gathering around them on one of those memorable and peaceful Saturday night in the 1990s...?
Please tell me, talk to me...my dear beloved grandparents...
2010/03/14
2010/03/13
Inquisition on Justification
What's the percentage of time in our lives that we spent on "justification"?
To justify what we did, what we are doing and we have decided to do?
Once you open your ears and eyes, you would see frequent reflections of many such thinkings and doings around. The purpose of this little note has nothing to do with justifying the "justification" itself. It is purely an inquisition stating the hidden "obvious" fact in life.
Likewise, when you open heart and inner-self, you would start to see similar rate of self-justification. One could very well say that is just a normal process of "decision-making", a procedure that is unavoidable and unchangeable in our thinking system.
I may just propose, at this stage of awareness and self-consciousness, that we may be able to unchain ourselves from over-justification. Would that make our lives easier and grant us more positive "freedom"?
Let's go out there and try.
To justify what we did, what we are doing and we have decided to do?
Once you open your ears and eyes, you would see frequent reflections of many such thinkings and doings around. The purpose of this little note has nothing to do with justifying the "justification" itself. It is purely an inquisition stating the hidden "obvious" fact in life.
Likewise, when you open heart and inner-self, you would start to see similar rate of self-justification. One could very well say that is just a normal process of "decision-making", a procedure that is unavoidable and unchangeable in our thinking system.
I may just propose, at this stage of awareness and self-consciousness, that we may be able to unchain ourselves from over-justification. Would that make our lives easier and grant us more positive "freedom"?
Let's go out there and try.
2010/03/01
What Do We Need to Catch Up with?
It is surprising how two-year can change perceptions.
Not to be completely out of touch or context, these are not two random years just at any point in any one's life, being spent in any ways.
These are the two years of my life in graduate school in the US. Afar from home and loved ones.
These are the two years that I have spent most of time on my own, with myself. Hard questioning, seeking and soul searching, what is it that make me happy and a useful human being?
These are the years of learning, reading, travelling and recently more running and writing... These are the years I have decided these will be my life-time companion, which I will never let go or give up.
These are the two years that made random travelling for the sake of bragging or comparing to peers pointless. Unspokenly back home these days, the quantity may beat quality from time to time. Days like that are over for me.
I do not want to see just because of curiosity, or that is not enough alone any more... I need to see for a little more justified reason. Would it help to improve the depth of knoledge and understanding of what I wish to do?
Also, I start to readjust the pace of my life. What have I missed out by so obssessively chasing after the speed? What have I ended up with being the "fastest"? Would that make me impossible to catch up if I ran down the wrong direction?
What or who do I need to catch up with afterall?
Not to be completely out of touch or context, these are not two random years just at any point in any one's life, being spent in any ways.
These are the two years of my life in graduate school in the US. Afar from home and loved ones.
These are the two years that I have spent most of time on my own, with myself. Hard questioning, seeking and soul searching, what is it that make me happy and a useful human being?
These are the years of learning, reading, travelling and recently more running and writing... These are the years I have decided these will be my life-time companion, which I will never let go or give up.
These are the two years that made random travelling for the sake of bragging or comparing to peers pointless. Unspokenly back home these days, the quantity may beat quality from time to time. Days like that are over for me.
I do not want to see just because of curiosity, or that is not enough alone any more... I need to see for a little more justified reason. Would it help to improve the depth of knoledge and understanding of what I wish to do?
Also, I start to readjust the pace of my life. What have I missed out by so obssessively chasing after the speed? What have I ended up with being the "fastest"? Would that make me impossible to catch up if I ran down the wrong direction?
What or who do I need to catch up with afterall?
2010/02/27
Slow Food
Since when do we start to eat so fast?
Since when eating becomes just a task and cooking a daily repetitive burden?
To me, for the past over a year and a half, eating for most part are under the two unfavorable conditions mentioned above. I could barely remember sitting down at a table, not having a book inbetween me and my bowl of cooked vegetable or vegetable and rice, or some kind of congee vegetable.
No wonder I am on the verge of eating disorder.
How long does it take me to cook my food? Usually, from taking the pre-packed material from the fridge, to pouring them into a cleaned pot filled with water, to set the stove on the highest and wait it to boil, the efficient electricity would not hold me longer than 5-10 mins on average in the kitchen.
I know, it is rather sad. I have always said I do not have the money nor the time, nor the mood to make the process a long and enjoyable part of my day.
Until I found baking, which I only do so far occasionally when I am in Beijing or Hong Kong. Not in a community kitchen at Blakeley.
The side product of this whole diet mania resulted in my obsession to nuts. It is dangerous if I ever store any energy trail mix or deluxe nuts, One could easily detect the insufficient protein content in my diet, I rarely have meat these days except for canned Tuna. This has nothing to do with the cost or deeper concern on increasing body fat.
It has more to do with how long it takes to make and all the other sauces and ingredients that will make the meat tasteful and juicy. I felt like becoming one of those herbivore, a weird one by all means.
It is funny to hear what the health experts from Wall Street Journal said that the 21st century human being are getting shorter and fatter in general. Our mouth shrinking as we have been attuned to cooked food and do not chew as much. Also, we are said to have crowded teeth where the wisdom teeth could barely fit into our mouths anymore.
I felt I may stand out like an exception. How does over 1lbs of vegetable, 2 apples, 1 orange and 1 banana a day, not to mention the other carbs I effortlessly chewed in the morning and over lunch?
Do not see significant improvement of the content of this extreme diet in the short run, I do need to make a commitment eating slower.
As slow as my grandma...
Since when eating becomes just a task and cooking a daily repetitive burden?
To me, for the past over a year and a half, eating for most part are under the two unfavorable conditions mentioned above. I could barely remember sitting down at a table, not having a book inbetween me and my bowl of cooked vegetable or vegetable and rice, or some kind of congee vegetable.
No wonder I am on the verge of eating disorder.
How long does it take me to cook my food? Usually, from taking the pre-packed material from the fridge, to pouring them into a cleaned pot filled with water, to set the stove on the highest and wait it to boil, the efficient electricity would not hold me longer than 5-10 mins on average in the kitchen.
I know, it is rather sad. I have always said I do not have the money nor the time, nor the mood to make the process a long and enjoyable part of my day.
Until I found baking, which I only do so far occasionally when I am in Beijing or Hong Kong. Not in a community kitchen at Blakeley.
The side product of this whole diet mania resulted in my obsession to nuts. It is dangerous if I ever store any energy trail mix or deluxe nuts, One could easily detect the insufficient protein content in my diet, I rarely have meat these days except for canned Tuna. This has nothing to do with the cost or deeper concern on increasing body fat.
It has more to do with how long it takes to make and all the other sauces and ingredients that will make the meat tasteful and juicy. I felt like becoming one of those herbivore, a weird one by all means.
It is funny to hear what the health experts from Wall Street Journal said that the 21st century human being are getting shorter and fatter in general. Our mouth shrinking as we have been attuned to cooked food and do not chew as much. Also, we are said to have crowded teeth where the wisdom teeth could barely fit into our mouths anymore.
I felt I may stand out like an exception. How does over 1lbs of vegetable, 2 apples, 1 orange and 1 banana a day, not to mention the other carbs I effortlessly chewed in the morning and over lunch?
Do not see significant improvement of the content of this extreme diet in the short run, I do need to make a commitment eating slower.
As slow as my grandma...
2010/02/24
Simple Happiness In Life
Coming back from swimming, a tough one of 25 * 50 feet, but felt happy, from inside out.
So how can I possibly put that subtle feeling into words?
It was the happiness knowing that after the shower, I would be sitting in my chair immersed in silence, reading about things I need and want to know...which will be useful and help me understand. The room is warm and I am not hungry or sleepy.
It was the happiness thinking about this moment when after W and I finally dealt over with all the traveling stress sitting on Sanya Marriot's balcony facing the ocean, when the juicy Hainan chicken and fresh plate of fruits were sent in front of us with exotic smoothies. Our faces are showered in sea breeze and the smell of the coconut and sand...
It was the happiness I felt on one of those evenings when the neolights were on in Hong Kong, when we were walking home, with bags of groceries and the longing to a cozy couch dinner watching documentaries and sleep in each others' breathe...
Or it was the happiness, as I have been thinking a lot about but we have not re-done yet, to order baicai fensi doufu, jiuhuang chao jidan at that chunbing restaurant next to Beijing's Dong Hua Men...now that I have spent some time familiarizing with the U.S. mexican fastfood culture, it so much is just the Chinese version of burritos... Except for the Chunbing much easier to digest and probably with a bit less calories...
I know these are very simple things, but those are the sources of happiness in my life...
So how can I possibly put that subtle feeling into words?
It was the happiness knowing that after the shower, I would be sitting in my chair immersed in silence, reading about things I need and want to know...which will be useful and help me understand. The room is warm and I am not hungry or sleepy.
It was the happiness thinking about this moment when after W and I finally dealt over with all the traveling stress sitting on Sanya Marriot's balcony facing the ocean, when the juicy Hainan chicken and fresh plate of fruits were sent in front of us with exotic smoothies. Our faces are showered in sea breeze and the smell of the coconut and sand...
It was the happiness I felt on one of those evenings when the neolights were on in Hong Kong, when we were walking home, with bags of groceries and the longing to a cozy couch dinner watching documentaries and sleep in each others' breathe...
Or it was the happiness, as I have been thinking a lot about but we have not re-done yet, to order baicai fensi doufu, jiuhuang chao jidan at that chunbing restaurant next to Beijing's Dong Hua Men...now that I have spent some time familiarizing with the U.S. mexican fastfood culture, it so much is just the Chinese version of burritos... Except for the Chunbing much easier to digest and probably with a bit less calories...
I know these are very simple things, but those are the sources of happiness in my life...
2010/02/22
On the 5th day of the Chinese New Year to my beloved...
It was the fifth day of the Chinese New Year, 2010...I wrote the following to my loved one on the other end of the globe...
"冬日的波士顿，有想被爱人拥抱的冲动
冻结的查尔斯河，勾起我思乡的情绪"
...
I wrote the above by Charles river the other day, thinking about you. Just like now, time seems to stop.
Enjoy BJ on Chu Wu. Northern Chinese likes to have jiaozi on this day to celebrate the new year, called"po wu"...in case your planning such on dinner, please have some for me too..."...
From Boston to Beijing, with love...
"冬日的波士顿，有想被爱人拥抱的冲动
冻结的查尔斯河，勾起我思乡的情绪"
...
I wrote the above by Charles river the other day, thinking about you. Just like now, time seems to stop.
Enjoy BJ on Chu Wu. Northern Chinese likes to have jiaozi on this day to celebrate the new year, called"po wu"...in case your planning such on dinner, please have some for me too..."...
From Boston to Beijing, with love...
2010/02/18
Outright Rudeness
It is pathetic to be rude, it just purely is and there is no excuse nor reason to that.
I hate to utilize a blog to be vehicle to dump trivial daily annoyance. It yet occured to me so strongly that I wish I could remember that I will not do, never do anything like that to other people.
Swimming is supposed to be a relaxing activity until you have another presumptive senior arrogant Caucasian stranger started sharing your 2/3 lane by swimming in a wild manner, Worsestill, you were not even told or warned beforehand. Great. Then he started yelling at you for swimming too slow, lack of skill, etc.
It is absolutely pointless even to argue with people alike, right?
I hate to utilize a blog to be vehicle to dump trivial daily annoyance. It yet occured to me so strongly that I wish I could remember that I will not do, never do anything like that to other people.
Swimming is supposed to be a relaxing activity until you have another presumptive senior arrogant Caucasian stranger started sharing your 2/3 lane by swimming in a wild manner, Worsestill, you were not even told or warned beforehand. Great. Then he started yelling at you for swimming too slow, lack of skill, etc.
It is absolutely pointless even to argue with people alike, right?
2010/02/16
Information Mania
Here are two self-non-new year-resolutions I thought about lately.
How about setting a word cap for anything I write from this point on? In email, in blog, personal communication? If I could manage illustrate a point or get an idea cross within 120 words, why would I need any more than that?
Under most cases, it may be mission impossible. Given the large amount information we need to convey, the many thoughts that could not stop themselves from flowing out of my mind.
The other has to do with my growing information mania. When was the last time I did one thing at a time? Could not quite remember. Certainly not one of those jogs I did in the morning with ipod loaded with latest podcasts, interviews, news, talk shows...Must not be the super market tour or visit to KSG or HBS across the river, either talking on the phone asking my parents how they are doing, or discussing some ideas with W...What about going to answer the nature's call? Could always learn some news on paper or from itouch and an enabled fully covered campus-wide internet.
What I am going to do about that?
We human being at the dawn of inventing these gadgets must preassum how easy it is to turn these things off, shun ourselves away from them. C'est vrai?
Tres faux pas!
How about setting a word cap for anything I write from this point on? In email, in blog, personal communication? If I could manage illustrate a point or get an idea cross within 120 words, why would I need any more than that?
Under most cases, it may be mission impossible. Given the large amount information we need to convey, the many thoughts that could not stop themselves from flowing out of my mind.
The other has to do with my growing information mania. When was the last time I did one thing at a time? Could not quite remember. Certainly not one of those jogs I did in the morning with ipod loaded with latest podcasts, interviews, news, talk shows...Must not be the super market tour or visit to KSG or HBS across the river, either talking on the phone asking my parents how they are doing, or discussing some ideas with W...What about going to answer the nature's call? Could always learn some news on paper or from itouch and an enabled fully covered campus-wide internet.
What I am going to do about that?
We human being at the dawn of inventing these gadgets must preassum how easy it is to turn these things off, shun ourselves away from them. C'est vrai?
Tres faux pas!
2010/02/15
Why Team Fails?
How do you group a team of brilliant people and make sure they end up uniting and maximizing the efforts?
A couple of previling problems in organizations tha may easily sabotage a choic of the brilliant and bests together.
No clear purpose
No team structure
Inappropriate systems
Group think
Hidden Agendas
Conflicting Views
Dominant vs quiet members
Lack of diversity and a similarity in approaches and styles can prevent new ideas from being introduced
Here is a quick suggesion: Be the thermostat instead of the thermometer. Adjust to the temperature and make it to the right level, instead of measuring it and only follow the tide. It is very much in the art of the leadership, facilitation an mediation.
The other key is, do not take it personal. Avoid being the destructive "dominant" person. Last but not least, always go back to the workplan. It is where you should look when hanling the project, it is where you sould look if there is a problem. It is where you should be at the meeting, going through agenda or having a disagreement.
It is all in the workplan.
A couple of previling problems in organizations tha may easily sabotage a choic of the brilliant and bests together.
No clear purpose
No team structure
Inappropriate systems
Group think
Hidden Agendas
Conflicting Views
Dominant vs quiet members
Lack of diversity and a similarity in approaches and styles can prevent new ideas from being introduced
Here is a quick suggesion: Be the thermostat instead of the thermometer. Adjust to the temperature and make it to the right level, instead of measuring it and only follow the tide. It is very much in the art of the leadership, facilitation an mediation.
The other key is, do not take it personal. Avoid being the destructive "dominant" person. Last but not least, always go back to the workplan. It is where you should look when hanling the project, it is where you sould look if there is a problem. It is where you should be at the meeting, going through agenda or having a disagreement.
It is all in the workplan.
2010/02/09
Tips for Girls at Twenties
I know I never pick up those "I will tell you what to do" books in the store, what's the point? I know what to do or not, it is rather pathetic to structure my life with some modern-day driven laundry list.
Yet I am not completely immune from the many tips from the internet, another side-benefit people rarely talk about when they talk about the pros of information technology. It gave me the liberty to still receive drops of "what to do" without over-indulging myself in them.
Here are a list I encountered the other day when I was in the mood to read...Indeed beneficial for Girls at their 20s. I especially like the one about going to bed before 12am and rise early, can exercise, breath the air or see the sun rise above the ocean doing yoga...or even just wake your body and mind up in the pool. The other thing I came to realize at the age of 26 is how important "facial skin" is. Hopefully not too late to wake up answering that call. It did not mention hair, but that is another key.
Besides all those self-caring trivia, which comes back to how you build habits around. It is important to be a true practioner to accomplish small things well, brave and independently well...believe in the power of accumulation of life. Count on the power of friendships and love and family.
Most notably, we will always need knowledge, book and information. I would not classify those as good or bad, but useful and constructive ones. They are like the organic healthful food, like the toxic-free nutritious cosmetic, we would not drive far with the best source of energy available.
Which by the end of the day, all results in confidence and care.
一 做好身边每一件小事，所谓大事不过是小事的积累。不要太过纵容自己，女人可以水，但不能真把自己当水。很多时候环境迫使我们成为冰。要勇敢独立。
二 每个人都有可能成为别人生命中最珍贵的朋友。所以，交友要坦诚相待。爱身边每一个人。因为你肯定有需要别人帮助的时候。水中照脸彼此相符，人与人心也相对。你愿意人怎样待你，你就该如何待人。
三 养成早睡早起的习惯，杜绝0点后的一切活动。哪怕听音乐看电影，能免则免。酒吧网吧迪吧尽量不去。没有什么比健康重要。想要结婚时少打点粉，就要从今天起保养皮肤。定期做一些补水紧肤面膜。“面子”问题真的很重要。
四 视情况参加聚会。人际交往很重要，不要只活在自己的世界里。别找理由搪塞自己躲被窝而拒绝交际，那样会让你失去人脉关系。回头你才会抱怨自己没做好个人公关。
五 坚持看书，看好书。女人的修养不是外表有多光鲜亮丽。智慧的知性女人永远是男人的宠儿。不要做花瓶，我们不是廉价的摆设，而是会生活懂情调的新女郎。要漂亮的够资本。
六 学会理财。别当所谓的“月光族”。很好听，但只有你自己才能体会没钱的滋味。也不要钱多到不知道买什么。名牌要用在需要的地方。晚礼服，内衣，香水，手提包，首饰。买不起可以先不买。但千万别买仿的。那样的话参加适当的宴会绝对会让自己难堪。
七 男人女人最好别抽烟。如果你想活的久一点；拥有健康孩子；保持清新口气；抽烟没什么好酷的。不要用尼古丁来麻醉感情，不能疗伤，抽多了准会得内伤。到最后不是麻醉感情而是麻木。
八 去谈去恋去爱一个人，爱上帝眼中可爱的孩子。不要作茧自缚，不要把爱情当生命，不要依赖感情生活，永远要记得不要因为爱眼中的他而失去他眼中的你。只有会爱自己的人才会懂得爱别人。
九 无论在哪里，一定要定期联系家人。一辈子很短。子欲养而亲不待。但愿不会出现这样的遗憾。年轻不要后悔，老了才不会后悔曾经年轻过。
十 女人可以不够漂亮，但是一定要够自信。聪明的女人懂得打造自己，只有会爱自己的女人才会深得男人的宠爱。
Yet I am not completely immune from the many tips from the internet, another side-benefit people rarely talk about when they talk about the pros of information technology. It gave me the liberty to still receive drops of "what to do" without over-indulging myself in them.
Here are a list I encountered the other day when I was in the mood to read...Indeed beneficial for Girls at their 20s. I especially like the one about going to bed before 12am and rise early, can exercise, breath the air or see the sun rise above the ocean doing yoga...or even just wake your body and mind up in the pool. The other thing I came to realize at the age of 26 is how important "facial skin" is. Hopefully not too late to wake up answering that call. It did not mention hair, but that is another key.
Besides all those self-caring trivia, which comes back to how you build habits around. It is important to be a true practioner to accomplish small things well, brave and independently well...believe in the power of accumulation of life. Count on the power of friendships and love and family.
Most notably, we will always need knowledge, book and information. I would not classify those as good or bad, but useful and constructive ones. They are like the organic healthful food, like the toxic-free nutritious cosmetic, we would not drive far with the best source of energy available.
Which by the end of the day, all results in confidence and care.
一 做好身边每一件小事，所谓大事不过是小事的积累。不要太过纵容自己，女人可以水，但不能真把自己当水。很多时候环境迫使我们成为冰。要勇敢独立。
二 每个人都有可能成为别人生命中最珍贵的朋友。所以，交友要坦诚相待。爱身边每一个人。因为你肯定有需要别人帮助的时候。水中照脸彼此相符，人与人心也相对。你愿意人怎样待你，你就该如何待人。
三 养成早睡早起的习惯，杜绝0点后的一切活动。哪怕听音乐看电影，能免则免。酒吧网吧迪吧尽量不去。没有什么比健康重要。想要结婚时少打点粉，就要从今天起保养皮肤。定期做一些补水紧肤面膜。“面子”问题真的很重要。
四 视情况参加聚会。人际交往很重要，不要只活在自己的世界里。别找理由搪塞自己躲被窝而拒绝交际，那样会让你失去人脉关系。回头你才会抱怨自己没做好个人公关。
五 坚持看书，看好书。女人的修养不是外表有多光鲜亮丽。智慧的知性女人永远是男人的宠儿。不要做花瓶，我们不是廉价的摆设，而是会生活懂情调的新女郎。要漂亮的够资本。
六 学会理财。别当所谓的“月光族”。很好听，但只有你自己才能体会没钱的滋味。也不要钱多到不知道买什么。名牌要用在需要的地方。晚礼服，内衣，香水，手提包，首饰。买不起可以先不买。但千万别买仿的。那样的话参加适当的宴会绝对会让自己难堪。
七 男人女人最好别抽烟。如果你想活的久一点；拥有健康孩子；保持清新口气；抽烟没什么好酷的。不要用尼古丁来麻醉感情，不能疗伤，抽多了准会得内伤。到最后不是麻醉感情而是麻木。
八 去谈去恋去爱一个人，爱上帝眼中可爱的孩子。不要作茧自缚，不要把爱情当生命，不要依赖感情生活，永远要记得不要因为爱眼中的他而失去他眼中的你。只有会爱自己的人才会懂得爱别人。
九 无论在哪里，一定要定期联系家人。一辈子很短。子欲养而亲不待。但愿不会出现这样的遗憾。年轻不要后悔，老了才不会后悔曾经年轻过。
十 女人可以不够漂亮，但是一定要够自信。聪明的女人懂得打造自己，只有会爱自己的女人才会深得男人的宠爱。